Why I wrote so publicly about Anne Clark

Sep 5

8 min read

131

Please note, the audio version might become outdated if I have to correct or update something in the below text.

Update at the very bottom.

Regarding the reason why I wrote When you are Anne Clark and the Rest doesn't Matter is, in a nutshell, to make 1000% sure this bridge is burnt to the ground.

I want to emphasise again that I have nothing personal against Anne Clark and really do appreciate her trust towards me with her work as well as initial support when my brother died. My trauma has broken many relationships and opportunities, Anne was just one of them. I deeply regret it, but I also regret having invested so much money and later time on her music.

As I wrote in the above linked article that my brother died in the middle of me working on correcting Anne's book. Losing a loved one is already devastating as it is. But for some reason it was decided that I receive this news via email without ANY support, without ANY follow-up, without ANY cushioning of the message.

Not only has he died 5 weeks before I learnt via email, he was already cremated when we learnt! He was cremated 5 days before I found out he died, they kept him for about 4 weeks. They supposedly couldn't find next of kin while my mum lived about 50km from my brother in Germany. I live in London.

Germany has a sophisticated ID system. By LAW every citizen has to have an updated ID and be registered in the city/town they have their main residence. My mum lived at her address for over 30 years, there is no excuse to not have found her. It was simply in hindsight a lazy, careless act by police to not search in-depth for us. My brother was nobody, struggled financially and his death was ruled as not having been foul play or suicide. Therefore they closed the case and that was that.

I learnt much later amongst researching that it is the duty and responsibility of police to bring the news of someone's death IN PERSON to next of kin. And if they have any emotional intelligence, they'd bring this news with a mental health worker who then stays behind when police leaves to give initial and CRUCIAL support.

I will spare the reader of any more detail. But learning it like this, then not having had any further PROFESSIONAL support ... then long-time friends, some I had for 20+ years disappearing early on ... and on top of that my workplace targeting me so I leave as they don't want to bother with bereaved employees either ... I went on an emailing spree for years.

One "friend" I had for over 20 years, watched her son when he was young, watched her dog years later when she and her husband went on holiday. Watched that dog even when he was deadly sick, often for weeks while working in an extremely stressful job. I did it for free because I thought that's what friends do. Big mistake. This friend especially dropped me, accused me at first while I was trying to figure out what happened to my brother and she couldn't stand it that I for once was the one vulnerable. She lost her dog watcher and moral support when her narcissistic husband verbally abused her again.

One of the last things I told them was that I never regretted having watched their dog, even when he was deadly sick as an annual vaccine shot backfired, but I regret having done it for free.

Anne initially supported me and it helped me that she wasn't scared of a bereaved person like most people are in society. But I also emailed her, like everyone else. I had her phone numbers and address, but apart from about 3 times calling her and leaving a message, I never bothered her via phone or visits. My problem was emailing, and later realised it had to do with receiving the news of my brother's death via email.

Years later Ricky Gervais put a series out called "Afterlife" where he plays a widow who lost his wife to cancer. His way of dealing with his loss and grief is to piss everyone off around him. His anger and devastation manifested in cynicism and sarcasm.

I became everything of the above. My world stopped and everyone's world moved on. But the worst thing was that some people like long-time friends and especially work were ACTIVELY giving me a hard time on top. I was treated like an outcast, like a criminal! And as the universe wasn't done yet with me, my mum died during the second lockdown in Germany, me stuck in London and couldn't bury her.

And this is partly now that I say and write things so that people have a reason to treat me like a criminal.

I always had an autistic "streak" since childhood, was like a dog-to-the bone on issues, black and white thinking, huge sense for right and wrong, speaking out against unfairness etc. added to that they diagnosed me with PTSD, and only now is the anxiety and the heightened sense of alert calming down a bit.

But when Anne called the police, ONLY after I openly copied in her fans regarding the book full of mistakes, I came to the conclusion that some people are just not worth it investing time and money.

Anne had every opportunity, even via her management or lawyer to ask me to stop emailing. She never did and then went so far to claim I stalked her. When she did that, apart from the police doing an unlawful threat of arrest which I challenged, I was relieved. I was relieved that the fronts are clear finally and I can ditch that thing forever.

And to make sure that I'll never hear from Anne Clark again, I wrote the above publicly to burn that bridge to the ground, unrepairable.

Before my brother died and everything else that happened since, I was extremely discreet. There were people even in Anne's circles who would tell me private things about Anne but I kept telling them that I don't want to hear anything and rather have Anne tell me things if she chooses.

In my friend circles, when a "friend" gossiped about another friend, I made it clear, I don't want to hear it unless they themselves tell me.

Now, I am the opposite. The extreme traumas, everyone abandoning me in the pits of hell and then even accusing me of stuff, I speak out, loud and clear. And what people including Anne Clark do with this is not my concern.

My favourite animals are elephants. These gentle giants who look so rough, grey and out of proportion in body parts, are one the most social creatures. YouTube is filled with videos of elephants rallying around a baby elephant or an injured one to try and rescue it. Or elephants gather around a dead corpse or bones of an elephant and grieve.

We humans in today's society come along here and there to help for a little while and then leave the person in the ditch when the grief takes too long or the loss is too traumatic or complicated. I have also realised that when people are overwhelmed with someone's grief or tragedy, they find the easy way out by blaming the bereaved who has become incapable to navigate the world normally anymore. Hence, just blame the traumatised person so you can excuse yourself from being a solid support system.

We don't gather a group of people to lift one person up and with this share the burden. I had individual people support initially and then disappearing. And the experience I've had with a group of people was when they bullied me and tried to get rid of me at work, or in Anne Clark's case, another group dropping me when my emailing became too much. Understandably, but a group of people have more strength than individual help, let alone a traumatised person.

And I take responsibility for having started to drink heavily and write countless emails to literally everyone. But I also say now, that everyone can go and fuck themselves, except those who are still with me. And like I wrote in above link "When you're Anne Clark ..." that I want to write this while everyone is alive as our lives can end any moment, and like the horror with my brother, us not knowing he was dead AND cremated. Anne & Co. has the opportunity to defend herself or sue me or ghost me, whatever the fuck she wants.

But I don't like when people write stuff about others after they've died and can't defend themselves anymore. But my reason for writing this, and publicly, is to burn that bridge to hell.

But you can be a rock star, stinking rich of course, screwing around, taking drugs, biting off a pigeons head like Ozzy Osbourne did, snorting your father's ashes mixed into cocaine like Keith Richards did, acting outrageous like Russel Brand etc. etc. etc. and you're a hero followed by many people, including Anne Clark.

If you are a regular person who lost everything, you are an outcast and treated like a criminal. Anne Clark can fuck off and I am relieved that this bridge is down.

With writing this publicly at least Anne Clark & Co. has a reason to call police or her lawyers, rally all her fans against me etc. I don't give a flying fuck.

To you readers, invest your money and time not in musicians and actors, not in politicians, not even in large faceless charities that sit on millions, invest your money and time with your family, with real and loyal friends, with your local homeless person to see how you can help, invest your time and money with surrounding projects where you live. And look out for yourself first. And always look out for children, the elderly, vulnerable people and those who don't have a voice.

Thank you for reading.

(This is a YouTube video on elephants grieving, YT at times act up again asking people to sign in to prove you're not a bot. But what they really want is you data, especially ID. If this bullshit comes up, just search for grieving elephants in video at vimeo, dailymotion etc.)

Update mid September 2024: Someone on social media who tried to "mediate" mentioned that Anne battles cancer. I am truly glad that she seems to be better, is touring again and hope that cancer is beaten and she lives a healthy long life. But don't come me with "cancer" which has nothing to do with anything I wrote above. Anne ditched her longtime girlfriend of 8 years at the time for a rich business woman in Hamburg who is so toxic and fake, who also fucked up Anne's website and threatened me with a lawyer back when I was in the deepest hell. Anne ditched her longtime girlfriend who just came out of a massive back surgery. I mention this so publicly because all this played out publicly on Anne's Facebook page.

Anne didn't care about her GF who was recovering from her surgery. So, leave your cancer at the door and deal with the issues at hand.

Anyone, especially if rich and/or semi-famous who feels the need to threaten with a lawyer or call police is the epitome of cowardliness, who has an agenda (the rich toxic business woman) and/or is careless about others (Anne).

I wish Anne the very best, especially health, but she can fuck off in my book.

But she can fuck off in my book.

UPDATE:

I just leave this here. If I had funds for legal aid, I would sue Anne Clark and her manager Jeff Aug.